TRY BEIN A MERE SPECTATOR

Lecture Notes.. Contined .....

2010-03-18T14:32:00.001+05:30

Ek Chidiya.....

(The sole poem i ve written in HR class...

Would not have been possible without Javed s help.

Javed s inputs are in upper case)

Ek chidiya,ud gayi;

Fir uski gardan,mud gayi....

Uske sir pe suraj tha,

USKE ACCOUNT MEIN KARZ THA.

UDTE UDTE USNE DEKHA,

nanga khada tha uska beta....

usko kuch kuch hone laga,

JAB USKA PATI SONE LAGA.

USNE KUDKAR CHEETA PAKDA,

usko apne panje mein jakda...

chidiya cheeta le ke udi,

CHEETEY PE CHIDIYA BHAARI PADI.

ITNE MEIN CHEETA RONE LAGA,

kyunki usko orgasm hone laga....

chidiya jab usko chuti thi,

USE LAGTA USKI KISMAT FUTI THI.

CHEETEY NE CHIDIYA KO ZOR SE KAATA,

chidiya ne usko maara chaanta.

Udti jaati Konika( our esteemed HR Ma am) ne jab ye dekha,

USNE hr KA BORING LECTURE FENKA.

SUNKE CHIDIYA KO NIND AA GAYI,

IS TARAH CHEETEY KI JAAN BACH GAYI....

ab cheetah roz ye kahaani sunaata hai,

aur konika ke gun gaata hai....

TOTAL NONSENSE

(this is what happens when 4 people sit down to write a poem

Saahas-S

Nagi-N

Deepak-D

Javed-J)

J-Bahut purani baat hai beta, ek sust aadmi tha apne ghar pe leta...

Tabhi kissi ne door bajaya,

S-usne socha ab kaun aya.

Wo bola dar tod ke aaja,

N-Aur aa ke baja ja mera baaja.

D-Par baaja tha pada kharaab,

J- Islie usne pi ji bhar sharaab.

Pite hi tharra uske dimaag ki batti ho gayi gul,

S- Wo bola bar girl ko aaja meri bulbul....

N- Bulbul nachti hui ayi aur boli,

Chal aj uthwati hun teri doli..

D-Ye sun kar aadmi ka man dola,

USne uthaya apna udan khatola......

( We could not write after this coz v were too busy laughing.)

CON MAN ZINDABAD.

(What follows is a collection some lines i wrote in this legendary class,fighting to stay awake....

The mood of the poems will tell u a lot bout my condition...)

Dhundta firta hun shaks ko main,

Jo bata de ki ye majra kya hai....

Manzil tak pahunchne ki to hain raahein bahut,

Par nahi khabar manzil ke baad raasta kya hai....

Karte hain jad-o-jahed jis ko paane ki marne tak,

Wo mil jae maut se pehle to fir bachta kya hai.....

Har subah jo aa ke hamari duniya ko raushan karta hai,

Kabhi kho jae andheri raat mein wo suraj to kya hoga....

Karti hai roshan jo har mehfil ko jal jal ke,

Wo shama jala ke sab veerana bana de to kya hoga....

Kuch dwandwa hai, jo dase jaa raha,

Ik kanta gale mein fanse jaa raha...

Hun pagal ya hua sayana abhi,

apni laash pe hi hanse jaar raha....

Ik raah mujhko pukaarti,

Ki na kar fikar sansaar ki....

Chal abhi nikal,kar na der kar;

Kyun hai dekhe raah bahaar ki.....

Lamha lamha guzarti jae zindagi,

Pachtaaega jo tune der ki....

Tujhse pehle bhi maine kuch chizon ko chaha tha,

Tujhse pehle bhi kuch chehron ko bus khush dekhna chaha tha......

Par har bar nakaam raha main,har baar koi dil toda;

Fir bhi mere is dil ne na koshish karna choda.....

Har fool bana tha shool mera,de jaata ghaav kissi ko,

Mera pyaar se kuch kahna lagta dabaav kissi ko....

Fir sochna maine aakhir ye hota kyun hai,

Jiski hansi pe jaan di humne aakhir wo rota kyun hai....

Kaafi jhatkon ke baad hamein fir raaz samajh ye aya,

Lecture Notes-Incomplete.....

2010-03-18T13:57:00.002+05:30

Here s a collection of all i ve been doin in the lectures at the esteemed IIT-D.
Some of the works have contributions from my famed class mates...
I ll introduce them as n when their inputs appear......
Most of them are incomplete, coz u know luckily the lecture ends...
Would really appreciate u coming forwars to complete them..

EK RAAT(Started and completed in the CON MAN class.An Achievement)

Ek Raat ko,kaali raat ko;

uski laat boli meri laat ko....

Chal aa gedi maarein,

Lele haath mein mere haath ko....

Meri taangein mere haath,

chal die uske saath saath.

Bahar pahunche to kya dekha nazaara,

Jahan thi sadak wahahn nadi ka kinara.

Usme bache mut rahe the,

Kuch chor kisi ko lut rahe the..

Ik ladki sutta mar rahi thi,

Sach jhuth se haar rahi thi....

Ik laash nadi mein tair rahi thi,

Ik billi gadi mein kar sair rahi thi....

Ik jhpdi mein ik church bana tha,

ik haveli mein tabaif naach rahi thi...

Kuch bhukhe bache cheekh rahe the,

Kuch kitna khana fenk rahe the...

Ik bandar madari ko nacha raha tha,

Ik dholak aadmi ko baja raha tha...

Itna sab kuch dekh ke hum tum,

duniya ke rangon mein ho gaye gum.....

Usne bola chalte hain age,

Kya yahi dekhne ko the hum jaage...

Tham ke uske haath se haath,

age badhe hum sang le raat....

Ghani si raat thi,bus chuppi saath thi,

bus ik uski nazrein thi jo mujhse karti baat thi....

Taaron ki chaaon mein,

ik soone gaon mein.

Barfili choti pe,

Sar rakh meri godi mein...

Un aankhon ne baatein ki shuru,

Bus kho gaye hum to un aankhon mein guru....

Kabhi kahti hum se pyaar hai,

kabhi kahti tum se naraaz yaar hai....

kabhi nam ho ke judaai ka ehsaas dilati,

Kabhi sharma ke wafa ka izhaar kar jaati....

Kabhi chamakti un mein bachpan ki hansi,

kabhi ladkhaati jaise jawaan hui kali....

( lecture ended :) )

EEEEE lectrical:)

This is solely dedicated to our sir.....

He s tried his best,but i honestly don know a single thing:)

Do u have the powers,

to kill two hours...

Bear this man,

excruciating pain....

Try all u can,

This lecture wont end...

What the hell is he saying,

I don get a f****** thing...

Why is electrical a mystery,

Wish it 'ld become history...

How do motors run,

Y do transformers burn...

So much said so far,

AC current is too hard... ( Deepak)

He thinks v r idiots and v take the blame,

He laughs at us and v do the same....

Some are sleeping,some are stunned,

electricity has struck and v don have a relief fund...

V stare at him,our eyes begging mercy,

He slaughters us every day still there s no blood on his jersey....

guys bear with this all because,

tough times donot last long but tough people do....( Javed)

Sometimes i wonder what to him did life do,

Do his children hit him,or till day he s not had any one to screw....

Its at moments like this that i feel,

When life would end would i ve struck a good deal...

When old like him,would i be out enjoying my days,

or would i be like him,making students commit suicide in numerous ways....

Why are nt v allowed to sleep in the last,

Or rather y do v ve to go to the class...

(To be continued)

TUM: A DEDICATION

2009-07-10T22:35:00.002+05:30

To the most amazing person i ve ever met......

Bhatakta tha andheron mein,talaash thi ik jugnu ki;
banke suraj meri zindagi mein aye TUM....

Tod ke mere dil ke ird gird ki deewarein,
dheeme dheeme se us mein samaye TUM...

Jhulas jaata main is duniya ki chilchilati dhup mein,
gar banke baadal na hote mujhe pe mandarae TUM...

Ladkhada rahi thi meri zindagi tamaam,
mujhko sambhaala har su,na kabhi dagmagaaye TUM...

Uthne laga jab bhi mere aansuon ka bawandar,
le ke jhadi hansi ki har baar aye TUM...

Na de saka hun kuch bhi,na de paaunga kabhi;
fir bhi jaa rahe ho,mujh pe sab kuch lutaye TUM...

Murjha rahe the tamaam gukistan yahan,
aaye tum to saath bahaar mod laaye TUM....

Kahan ye seedha dil,kahan ye chehra-e-masoom;
badi fursat mein lagta ho khuda ne banaye TUM...

Kahan ye aankhon ki chamak, kahan ye honton ki hansi;
kyun kar no ho gumaan use jispe muskurae TUM...

Sochta tha aakhir hai kya bala wafa,
samjhaane ise mujhe,khuda-e-ishq ban ke aye TUM...

Itne kiye karam,ek aur ehsaan kar do;
ye hansi hai zindagi hamari,na isko chehre se hatao TUM...

Hanso,baso,luto maze zindagi tamaam;
bus isi liye ho khuda ne banaye TUM...

Bahut kshish ki ki keh dein ishq hai tumse,
kya karein hamesha ishq ki jagah zubaan pe aye TUM....

Ishq

2009-04-22T02:26:00.001+05:30

Love being the single major factor that runs the lives of a lot of us........

Such a beautiful thing n i ve not said a word glorifying it..... Here it is.......

Jab banayi Kaynaat to sochta hai khuda,

Is haseen jahan se kaise rahunga juda.......

Jab kuch na shujha use jisse dur ho ye rashk,

To khud hi aa gaya zameen pe ban ke wo ishk......

Yun to tamam umar chalti hain saansein,

Par zinda hone ka asli ehsaas dilata hai ishk.......

Wo jinhone kabhi kaleen se pair neeche na tha rakha,

tapti ret pe unhe nange pair chalaata hai ishk.....

Jin haathon ne kabhi baaanti thi asharfian sone ki,

unhi haathon se fir bheekh mangaata hai ishk....

Bhar deta hai pehle to tamaam jahaan ki khushian tumhaari jholi mein,

Gam deke fir us hansi ki keemat batata hai ishk....

Pal mein banae farishta aur pal mein haiwaan kar de,

Tumhe zindagi ke sab pahlu dikhaata hai ishk.......

kaun kahta hai deta hai bus na bharne waale zakhm,

Kar de Rangeen jo tamaam zindagi wo satrangi yaadein de jaat hai ishk......

Raaton ko uth uth ke andhere kamre ki diwaaron se jhagdoge jab,

fir na puchoge kabhi kaise ho jata hai ishk.....

Zindagi aur maut se pare, saath aur judaai se dur,

apni har ik soch mein pritam ka ehsaas de jata hai ishk......

Ik junoon,ik vahshiyat,ik pagalpan,ik kasak,

zindagi jeene ki vajah ban jaata hai ishk.....

Kaise kahun tujhe kitna shukriya hai tera rab,

ki bina kabiliyat ke bhi mujhe nawaaza hai ishk...........

AAKHIR KYUN.......

2009-03-26T20:10:00.002+05:30

Bata de mujhe ae insaan ab to....
Aakhir kyun??
Apne aap ko hi dhokha deta hai ,
hath faila faila kar gum tu leta hai....
Kissi lachaar ke lahu mein paroskar,
apni aulaad ko pakwaan kyun deta hai....
Aakhir kyun??????

Aazma ke apne ma baap pe apni baazuon ka zor,
han apne soorma hone ki tu gawaahi deta hai....
Khud sah nahi sakta kaante ki chuban tu,
kis hak se duje ke seene mein khanjar deta hai....
Aakhir kyun??

Apne matlab ki khatir jhagjhod ke rishton ka wajood,
banata bahan kabhi,bana priye fir leta hai.....
apni vaasnao ko de ke naye naam kayi,
duniya ki nazaron mein bana paak tu deta hai....
Aakhir kyun?????

Cheerta hai chaati kissi ki tu us pe tik to sahi,
fir kaayaron ki tarah marham us pe laga kyun deta hai.....
nahi hai gar dum tujh mein anjaam dekhne ka,
to nayi koshishon ko aagaz kyun deta hai.....
Aakhir kyun?????

Kiya to wahi tune jo tere man mein tha,
ab halaat dekh ke ankh mein aansu bhar kyun leta hai......
Kaun nahi gaya tere karib se dur,
fir bata apni maut se aankhein mund kyun leta hai....
Akhir kyun?????

Har baat pe bahas karni hai ati tujhe,
Fir apne hi sawaalon pe dhaar maun kyun leta hai.......
Jab koshish hi nahi ki tune kabhi khushi dhundne,
fir kuch kami hai ye rona rota kyun rahta hai.....
Aakhir kyun?????

Ja baith samne aaine ke puch khud se ,
Kya yahi hai wajood tera ki bus saans tu leta hai....
Hai waqt abhi sambhal jaa ae dost,
Warna fir wahi sawaal sabka anjaam maut kyun hota hai....
Aakhir kyun????

2009-01-12T16:11:00.003+05:30

Na hain kissi apne ke gam se surkh ye aankhein,
Ye hain chingariyaan zara rahna tu inse dur ae duniya....
Nahi marham ki in zakhmon ko ab ik khanjar ki khwahish hai,
zara sa aur risne de,ki banne de inhe nasoor ae duniya...

main tujhse door jata hun to daaman thaamti hai kyun,
bina mere kya itni hai lachaar ae duniya.....
tere rishton ke wo panne,jinko khun se tha seencha,
Han kar raha hun unko zaarozaar ae duniya....

tere lafzon ki shakkar mein jo matlab ki milaawat hai,
wo mere tan ko chubti hai,ho jaise shul ae duniya.......

Shukriya

2009-01-12T11:10:00.003+05:30

Wrote this quite some time back...... Thought of putting it on blogger. Don know y??????

Tera shukriya ae hum dum tune diya saath mera,
Mujhse hi chut gaya kahin haath tera.....
Na thi kami tere ishk main koi,
tu ho haasil mujhe ye na tha naseeb mera....

Ik ik chiz teri dheere dheere juda hui,
tu gayi, fir teri yaad ,jaa raha hai ab to gam bhi tera....
teri di anguthi bhi na jaane kahan hai ab,
lagta hai kho jaega mujhse ik din naam tera....

Tere vaadon ke seene se lapet kar rakha tha,
jam ke sard ho gaye aisa barfila hai khayal tera....
teri usi tuti tasveer ko jodne ki koshish karta hun har baar,
jaane kyun nahi bardaasht mujhe ye chehra tera....

Sochta hun kahin kissi kone mein tere dil ke,
abhi bhi chapa hoga ik halka sa naam mera.....
tamam zindagi na sahi, har waqt bhi nahi,
magar tere kuch lamhon pe to abhi bhi hak hoga mera......

Kya bataun is chaak jigar ke armaan kya hain,
bus chahta hun chand lamhon ke liye saath tera...
Jaanta hun chah kar bhi na de paegi tu mujhko,
Wo bheegi palkein, wo tez dhadkan,wo makhmali haath tera...

Kahin chupa ke rakh raha hun aj mein,
Wo chand khat tere,wo ik photo frame,wo tooth brush,wo ik jhumka tera....
Teri kameez pe se silvatein haatane ko ji nahi chahta..........
Kaise haataun main doston ke labon se naam tera.....

Abhi tak sambhaale rakha hai maine,kayi saal pehle aaj hi ke din khareedi us toffy ka wrapper,
uske do kaagazon ko baant ke humne kaha tha ye mera aur ye tera...
Kya karun bata us bus ki ticket ka,jab hum sabse chup ke pehli baar kahin gaye the,
aur ho gaya tha yakin zindagi bhar na chutega saath tera....

Abhi bhi yaad nahi ata mujhe ,
ki kab ho gaya wo favourite rang mera......
kab seekha maine dukaan pe lagi saadiyan aur suit dekhna,
koson dur tha jinse main, jaane kab un aansuon se tune rishta jod diya mera...

Abhi bhi palkon pe se ik baal girta hai,
to wahi dua maangta hai deewana tera.
aur fir pure zor se phunk maarta hun ki wo na adhuri rahe,
tu jahan rahe hansti basti rahe hai yahi armaan mera...

Kuch nahi chahta hun tujhse ae dost,
bus un hasin lamhon ko yaad kar ik pal muskura de ae dost hoga ehsaan tera......
aur gar kahin koi zakhm hara ho jaye,aur dard uthe to ro lena,
aaj ke din tere do aansu ka to hak banta hai mera....

Tahe dil se dua hai us rab se, tu khush rahe har su,
teri jaan na to tera anjaan hun,par hun ab bhi tera...
khata hun kasam aj ke baad na sataunga tujhe,
ab na mandraega aas paas ye bhanwara tera....

Khwahish

2008-12-10T12:05:00.004+05:30

Kaise bataun kya chahta hun Zindagi se main,
Han andhera mangta hun roshni se main.
Dil mein mere khwahishon ke bawandar uth rahe,
Han ujadnaa chahtaa hun ab khushi se main....

Zindagi ke gam mujhe ajiz ho gaye,
jahan bhar ke zakhm mere kareeb ho gaye.....
Kaise gawara hoga mujhko is jahan ka apnapan,
Ki kaafi jud chuka hun iski berukhi se main.....
Han andhera mangta hun roshni se main......

Tadap raha hun bina iske,naya gam de zindagi,
Han lahu ke laal rang mein mujko rang de zindagi......
Kissi nayi khalish ka mujhko sang de zindagi,
Ki tang aa gaya hun ab is jhuthi hansi se main..........
Han andhera mangta hun roshni se main........

Takrane de apne jabr ko ab to mere sabr se,
Hone de aj jung tere riwajon ki kabr pe...........
Ki jinke jhuthe khwabon ki kachi dor mujhko baandhe thi ab talak,
Thukra raha hun vo Marasim badi bedilli se main.....
Han andhera mangta hun roshni se main............

Bus ik khwahish hai dekhun tere tamam rang ab,
Nahi darta hun kissi chiz se teri kaynaat mein ab ae rab......
Jane kyun har ik laash mein nazar ata hau mujhe apna aks,
Kya itni bar mil chuka hun apni khudkhushi se main......
Han andhera mangta hun roshni se main........

Denial

2008-08-20T01:10:00.000+05:30

I FUCKED UP

2008-08-18T02:19:00.006+05:30

All my Idols have deserted me,
All my Gods fallen and turned human.
Life seems to be a chronic nightmare now,
All im seeing is animals,hell now can i see a few men....

You were my faith, my pride, my shining star,
Just cant believe u ll be so weak, so impure.
Oh please don hold your ears and beg forgiveness,
Coz every time u say sorry i break a bit more.....

My world s shaking and my base's crashing down,
And this time no one can come rescue me.
Coz i aint dyin today, i ve been poisoned for long now,
I wondered what um doin, oh this day i had to see.

Why does it happen eveytime, ur shaken up by the imperfection of the most perfect people u ever came across.Why dont v accept v r fickle,fallible;Why do v spend our lives pretendin to be what v guess people would like us to be.
Why do v hide our dark deeds, our real faces:with dagger like teeth dangling out, our hands drenched with the blood of our beloveds' .
Why is it that my success or failure,happiness or pain, even so, the very fact as to if i am alive or not is judged by the benchmarks set by people who don have the slightest idea as to who i am.
What is it that v pursue?Is it happiness?
All we yearn for is appreciation, recognition; n from whom; may be a bunch of idiots who dont have the slightest of ideas bout what all things screw our minds..... But then that s not required,they know everything bout everything.they r perfect......
N if v r a good enough hypocrites to convince them, v might be a lucky judge ourselves one day.

How long ll v wear these, "oh um the f***** preident of my society,um the captain of my school team....
Thats not me...
Ok .Um not perfect, Um a failure ,Um a coward,a pervert......
BUT I AM ME n one one can steal that from me.......
N i wont change being me for any one, not a tiny bit.
I am not sorry for being me, i love being me...

Wish some day we ll have the courage to stand up n be ourselves.
Make our choices based on what v really want n not on what "THE EXPERTS" think v ld be wanting.

The day ill have no shame standing naked in front of the whole world n let it see who i am as i am.
The beautiful me n the ugly me....
The angel me and the satan me.
The day i ll not need to cover my shit and i ll say
I FUCKED UP AND I AINT ASHAMED OF IT.

ujdaa dayaar (A Barren Garden)

2008-08-12T01:32:00.004+05:30

Kyun dekhte ho mujhe is kadar,
Ki jisse ab hai rashq main vo bichda pyaar hun.
Na hun main tere mahboob ke terhven ka maatam,
Khafa bahaar jisse, main bas wo ujdaa dayaar hun.

Mana ki cheekti hai ik chuppi meri har ik nass se,
aur chubta hai meri veeran rahon ka andhera teri aankhon mein.
Par nahi main kissi kaafir ke dafn ki jagah,
Gar hun bhi to bus ik pagal aashiq ka mazaar hun......
Khafa bahaar jisse,main bus wo ujda dayaar hun.

Dekhe hain maine bhi zamaane ke sabhi mausam,
Wo husn ki naadaniyaan, wo ishk ka ladakpan.
Ye surkh rang jo tujhe mahsoos hota hain sukhe patton ka,
hai lahu isi husn -au- ishq ka jisse ab talak main daagdaar hun.
Khafa bahaar jisse,main bus wo ujda dayaar hun.

Dekh kar mere jhurrion se lath path jism ko,
Tu ye na soch main thak gaya hun, mar jaunga abhi.
Bharne de ye zakhm, Zara dhalne de ye rut,
Hazaron kaliyaan leke main fir khilne ko taiyaar hun.
ayegi bahaar firse, chand din bus ujdaa dayaar hun......
Chand roz mein milenge,fir dekhna har su chhayi bahaar hun....

Pain

2008-08-09T23:01:00.000+05:30

U think u know me well,
U think u ve taken my hardest blow.
U think i ve tried my best,
U think u passed the test.
I aint done yet is proved by the very fact u r still sane,
Come let me show u what i am, yes I AM PAIN.

Come with me to this barren street,
look at that child poking his head into the bin looking for something to eat.
Can u see his pale, rickety frame,
Oh come on, now tell me,YES IM IN PAIN.

Look at that man, to his own head who s pointed this gun,
Not just this , just a while ago he killed his wife and only son.
Oh thats a farmer, n it must ve been debt;so fu**** plain.
Now come on, shout out loud,YES IM IN PAIN.

You see that man tied to the tree, n head hanging low,
Now see that woman,paraded naked,of her wounds cant ya c the blood flow?
U ask why, "oh they r outcastes so must be treated with disdain".
I know it, don say now, YES U R IN PAIN.

U wanna feel the pain,
I ll tell ya where to go.
U wanna c the truth.
Then that is what i ll show.

Go to a butcher, and get slaughtered with you feeling his blade;
Or look into the eyes of a mother,with her son dying in her shade.
Or try facing a child whose family was killed by a reckless drunkard driver,
Its all around you, just stop looking and start watching, n ma fren u ll know...
What is PAIN....
What is PAIN....

Solitude

2008-08-08T22:25:00.000+05:30

For the first time i sat down to write thinking i ll say what i have to as i have to. For a change wont make it palatable using poetry.

At times u go thru a phase in life --when all u wanna do is run away, to some place u don know,some place with u bein answerable to no one, no expectations to meet,no demands to fulfill.
But v don do it normally, perhaps v don have the courage, perhaps the entanglements v ve put ourselves into stop us,perhaps v think it is weak to run away."Oh yeah! I am Strong! I wont run away.
I wont go hiding."

But did v ever think,what if all this was nothin but a way to fool ourselves away from the real fact.
The fact that v don go coz v cant, v r incapable of, v cant give up our addictions.
ADDICTIONS??????
Yes addictions, v ve built up a world around us, to keep us "BUSY". V ll do all the non sense things, all the bull shit, and why? "oh to keep myself busy:)"
n y do i need that,
Coz um coward, shit um scared of facing the bitter truths of life.um scared of looking at the wounds life has given me,um scared of the pain,um scared of the tears,um scared of the fact that i failed, um scared of evry fu**** shit that went wrong.
I AM SCARED OF SOLITUDE.

So what do v do,"v mend our lives, V LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES":) N then, "v become practical, worldly wise":)
Did any one ever notice what did v lose in all this???????
Yea, v lost our innocence, that genuine smile, genuine tears,genuine love.
All v have left is what is needed to survive. But is this how v wanted to survive???????
Is this what u wanna be?

N who the hell made me the expert?
I don know, just know one thing, Don be afraid to be alone.
Especcialy when u r down n out.
Whatever ll be by ur side when u r shattered is nothing but a new addiction...
So thats what v do, to give up one , v get into ten ......

To summarize i ll have to go to poetry:

I love it here, its dark and lonely....
I love it here....
I can tear my wounds, i can taste my flesh.
I love it here....
If its bout me, let ME be the judge,
Let ME decide if i enjoy in hell or i rot in heaven.
I know um a failure n i know um a coward, but here; its only me on me....
Oh Hell , i love it here....
U show me wealth, u show me riches, know what;they have no value here...
Oh God, I Love it Here.....

Letting you go

2008-06-28T18:44:00.000+05:30

U ve been wanting to leave for long now,
u r no more my song now.
This is not the place i belong now.
I guess u know who s wrong now.

Wanna know y i wont let ya go,
Coz u got no idea what, on u this world s gonna throw.
U think i am weak,
Think again n u ll know who s strong now.
I guess u know........

Lemme tell ya what u ve done,
u ve left me burning under the sun.
Oh, how i wish u shot me with a gun,
life,once beautiful, seems so boring n long now.
I guess u know.....

U ve no idea what u r gettin to,
if not me, to ur own self be true.
i give u pain,temme r u still not blue,
Lemme lell ya.with ya, i no more wanna go along now.....
I guess u know, who s wrong now.

MY LIFE

2008-03-27T10:04:00.001+05:30

my life

once i said u were the one who made me live

u were the one who made me feel immortal

u were the one who made me love life

u were the one who made me fight death

but now i say

u are the one who left me doomed

u r the who made me a devil

u r the one who crushed my heart

u r the one who made me die

u r the one who made me love death

don know y but still a corner of my heart says

ur r the one eor whom i fight

u r the one i worship

u r the one i love for betraying me

u r the one i owe my life to

u r the one i owe my death to

u r the one i owe my sucess to

u r the one i owe my failures to

ur the one i owe my destruction to

now that ill be packin off from this bewildering journey

i just know that but for u i wouldnt have lived the way i have

goin with me ll be the memoirs of

the first kiss we had

the first time our eyes met

i 1st time u whispered i love u

the 1st time u said we were "made for each other"

the 1st time u said world exists just bcos of our love

the 1st u made me feel i was the luckiest man on earth

the 1st time u made me a sinner

the 1st time i fought with u

the 1st time we packed up

the 1st time u made me forget myself

the 1st time u made me know myself

the 1st time we faced distances the 1st time we faced differences

the 1st time we dreamed together

the 1st time we screamed togather

the 1st promise of a united life n death

the 1st time u said u"hated me"

the 1st time u said"i betrayed u"

the 1st time u swirled around someone but me

now that im dead i know ull never forget me

t know ill always reside in a corner of ur heart

that ull die to re with me again

that ull fight death to get me again

that ull look for me like insanes

that ull make me alive again

waitain for the u realise what u ve done

the dayurealise

how much ulove me

u r vacant withot me

im lyin dead in my grave hopin

ull open it n release me some day

know that it may take millions of years for u to say"i love u"

u to say"we r made for each other"

u to say till the world exists ull love me

-----------------------------------

TERE BINA

2008-03-27T08:54:00.000+05:30

इक अजीब सा डर सा रहता है,
क्या होगी ज़िंदगी तेरे बिना।
साथी तोऔर भी मिल जायेंगे,
पर किसको कहूँगा ज़िंदगी तेरे बिना।

पोंचुन्गा किसके आंसू,
देखूंगा किसकी हँसी,
थामुंगा हाथ किसका,
चुमुंगा गाल किसके; तेरे बिना....

इक कसक सी है दिल में ,तेरे बिना;
न आरजू कोई ज़िंदगी में ,तेरे बिना;
इक दर्द सा उठ रहा है दिल में, तेरे बिना;
तन्हाई है हर महफिल में, तेरे बिना।

हर इक बात में याद आती है तू,
करता हूँ आंखें बंद, बनके ख्वाब आती है तू,
सोचता हूँ है यही अंजाम,
जाने कहाँ से बनके इक आस आती है तू,
जानता हूँ दिल बहलाने के तरीके हजारों हैं,
पर न जाने क्यों, कुछ भी न भाये, तेरे बिना।

जब सोचता हूँ की क्यों हो गए हम जुदा,
तो कत्गादे में खड़ा ख़ुद को ही देखता हूँ,
मेरा हर इक गुनाह पलट ले चिपक गया है मुझसे,
कौन सुनेगा मेरी दलील तेरे बिना॥

माना मैं टूट चुका हूँ, छलनीहो चुका हूँ,
पर तेरा दिया हर ज़ख्म एहसास दिलाता है मुझे मेरे गुनाहों का,
मर चुका होता कबका,गर होता मेरे बस में,
क्यों हूँ जिंदा अब तलक , कौन समझेगा तेरे बिना।

जानता हूँ नही काबिल तेरे मैं,
तभी तो पा के खोया है मैंने तुझको,
गर ही लाज ज़रा भी तो बहुत दूर चला जाऊं मैं,
पर क्या करूं ,जहाँ जाता हूँ , कुछ नही दिखता तेरे बिना...

सोचता हूँ कैसे भुला दिए तुने वो तमाम पल.
यहाँ तो आंखें नम हैं उन्ही मीठी यादों से।
जानता हूँ मेरी हर हरकत बस देती है गम तुझे,
पर तू ही बता किस को सुनाऊं हाल-ऐ-दिल तेरे बिना...

इस कदर बेबस हो चुका हूँ मैं अब,
के चाहता हूँ बस यूं ही दफन हो जाऊं।
बन जाऊं पत्थर, हो जाऊं दफन यूं ही,
न कोई ढूँढ पाए मुझे तेरे बिना।

कहना तो चाहता हूँ बहुत कुछ ऐ दोस्त,
पर तेरे वक्त पे अब इतना भी इख्तियार नही।
मुनासिब है अधूरी रहे ये ग़ज़ल भी,
के जैसे अधूरी है ज़िंदगी तेरे बिना.....

की जैसे अधूरी है ज़िंदगी तेरे बिना....