Solitude

For the first time i sat down to write thinking i ll say what i have to as i have to. For a change wont make it palatable using poetry.

At times u go thru a phase in life --when all u wanna do is run away, to some place u don know,some place with u bein answerable to no one, no expectations to meet,no demands to fulfill.
But v don do it normally, perhaps v don have the courage, perhaps the entanglements v ve put ourselves into stop us,perhaps v think it is weak to run away."Oh yeah! I am Strong! I wont run away.
I wont go hiding."

But did v ever think,what if all this was nothin but a way to fool ourselves away from the real fact.
The fact that v don go coz v cant, v r incapable of, v cant give up our addictions.
ADDICTIONS??????
Yes addictions, v ve built up a world around us, to keep us "BUSY". V ll do all the non sense things, all the bull shit, and why? "oh to keep myself busy:)"
n y do i need that,
Coz um coward, shit um scared of facing the bitter truths of life.um scared of looking at the wounds life has given me,um scared of the pain,um scared of the tears,um scared of the fact that i failed, um scared of evry fu**** shit that went wrong.
I AM SCARED OF SOLITUDE.

So what do v do,"v mend our lives, V LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES":) N then, "v become practical, worldly wise":)
Did any one ever notice what did v lose in all this???????
Yea, v lost our innocence, that genuine smile, genuine tears,genuine love.
All v have left is what is needed to survive. But is this how v wanted to survive???????
Is this what u wanna be?

N who the hell made me the expert?
I don know, just know one thing, Don be afraid to be alone.
Especcialy when u r down n out.
Whatever ll be by ur side when u r shattered is nothing but a new addiction...
So thats what v do, to give up one , v get into ten ......

To summarize i ll have to go to poetry:

I love it here, its dark and lonely....
I love it here....
I can tear my wounds, i can taste my flesh.
I love it here....
If its bout me, let ME be the judge,
Let ME decide if i enjoy in hell or i rot in heaven.
I know um a failure n i know um a coward, but here; its only me on me....
Oh Hell , i love it here....
U show me wealth, u show me riches, know what;they have no value here...
Oh God, I Love it Here.....